The Freedom to Choose

When I read the 8th Habit in 2007, one of the life changing lessons I learned that was very simple to apply is "The Freedom to Choose" ... It taught me how to respond to every situation every moment of my life since.

Between stimulus and response is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to 
choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness. No matter 
what has happened, there is a space between those events and our responses to them. 
If there is even a fraction of a second between stimulus and response, that space 
represents our power to choose our response to any situation. The key is to enlarge our 
“freedom to choose” space.*

It is with conscious effort to be aware of that space you have to choose how to respond.  I recommend a breathing space where I may need to count 1 to 10 that will allow me to expand the space and allow me to think before choosing my response.  It takes time for every action to become a habit. Consciously strive to be aware of  your situation and remind yourself that a few seconds will make a big difference in how things will turn out. You are in control of your life. You make things happen.

I used to be a nagging Mom. One day my daughter called me "Ms. G". I thought she was referring to G-Ganda which means beautiful.  But she said, "No Mom, it means "G-Galit" which means anger. It was a wake up call for me to be more conscious of how I react or respond  to situations especially in the presence of my children.

In my journey, I was able to get to know myself better. I realized that there are certain situations or circumstances that triggers my tendency to go back to that "old Ms. G".  As I explain it to my kids, I referred them as my "triggers".  That invisible button that when pressed, it is like a gun shot. "It's my trigger". My kids will usually say, "don't trigger, Mom". It meant an opportunity to miss my "space" during these instances. 

Having learned "The Freedom to Choose", I have finally convinced them to refer me as "Ms.G-Ganda" in time. It was very rewarding to know that my kids can appreciate the change in me. My kids were my partners who made me successful in my transformation.  And now as I look back, it actually even made us much closer. 

Indeed, the journey to my growth and happiness. A bonding that strengthen our family ties. Priceless.

What is the size of your reaction space?

Tip: Count 1-10 as you recognize that space.





*From CHAPTER 4—Discover Your Voice: Unopened Birth-Gifts